Influence, Chapter 2: Reciprocation

I continue my chapter-by-chapter summary of Influence, by Robert Cialdini. Previously: Introduction, Chapter 1.

Chapter two introduces the first major weapon of influence, reciprocity. The automatic compliance rule in effect here is that if someone does you a favor, you owe them -- even if you didn't ask for anything in the first place. Cialdini argues that this rule is good for the growth of society. Essentially, if society adapts reciprocity, I feel more comfortable trading and loaning with others (because my sense of their future obligation is clear). The downside is that if I want to get you to do something, I can influence you by doing you a small favor first.

The strongest example in the chapter is certainly that of Hare Krishnas. The Krishnas form a religious sect and, like many others, need donations to support themselves. Their tie to reciprocity is that before asking for money, they give the target (victim?) a small gift, like a book or a flower. The gift has an immense impact on donations, because people feel obligated to return the favor.

One particularly interesting special case of reciprocity is reciprocal concessions, which is basically a fancy word for bargaining. Rather than doing someone a favor, here you request something larger than you actually want, and then bargaining downwards ("Can I borrow $20? No? How about $5, then?"). In this rejection-then-retreat technique, you are doing a favor for your borrower by conceding that the amount of money you first asked for was too high. So, by reciprocity, they feel obliged to make a concession as well ("Sure, I can lend you $5"). This techniques "stacks" with the contrast principle of Chapter 1 -- comparing $20 to $5, the latter seems like not a very large amount of money to lend.

The chapter closes with defensive techniques. They boil down to this: detect if someone is trying to use reciprocity to play you (as opposed to just doing you a favor), and if so, switch to "sales-person defender" mode. All is fair when people misuse social compliance rules, so feel free to take their gift and show them the door.

Next up: Chapter 3, Commitment and Consistency.